Day 3

So BB has been in this world all of three days now.  He's amazing.  All of children were remarkable babies, each with their own perosonalities and he is NO different.  He likes a paci, he can take care of himself, and he's just kinda laid back.  It's pretty cool.  He will probably be a good sleeper when we can get into a routine and some of his "things" heal.  We just have to get this baby thing worked out again.

On that note, Mom is doing a great job.  She's right back into the flow of having a new baby in the house and she is loving the girls beging curious about him.  It's nice to have a new baby in the house, but I worry like always.  I have three little ones that want to be a part of his life so badly, but they are all still too young and don't understand how fragile he is.  My oldest, at 7, is going to be a great helper, but she started feeling bad yesterday and has a fever, so she can't be involved right now.  It's hard on her.  We're all home now though, healthy and happy.  Here's to a wonderful day three and many more to come. 

Road Trip!!

This year I have made it a goal of mine to spend more time with my family and friends.  There are always excuses as to why this can't happen or won't happen, but this year is going to be different.  I have already taken the first step to secure this goal by purchasing a rather new mini van that everyone loves to ride in.  Road trip, here we come.

This past weekend, we took a trip to Charlotte, NC.  It was a great trip.  The kids traveled awesomely glued to the TV in the back playing Rio or Lion King.  We stopped when needed, we ate when hungry, and we visited with family along the way.  It was a good trip for all of us.  

We took this trip to see my sister.  She has lived in her new home for four years and I haven't been to see her yet.  There has always been some kind of obstacle in the way from work to gas prices.  This weekend, we took the time to go see her.  Let me just say, four years was way to long.  We had a wonderful time with her and her husband.  The girls had an absolute blast seeing their Aunt and Uncle, and it was a much needed mini vacation for everyone.  We got some good family bonding time.  We also went to IKEA, but I'll save that for another post.  It was just an overall great time.

I say this to put out there, what are you not doing and should be?  I'm not getting any younger and my family and friends are scattered throughout the Southeast.  Some of my largest regrets are the people that will not be in my children's life because I waited too long.  Time is the one thing that we can't make any more of.  So, what are you going to do differently in 2012 for you and your kids?

Dream a Little Dream

So, when the idea of being a dad came to be almost 8 years ago now, it was definitely a new experience.  It was so surreal to think that I was going to be a father.  Now, it seems like it was just always meant to be now that we are expecting our fourth child.  It was dream of mine to have a family as I got older, but it hasn't always been my dream, not wholly. 

Growing up I was able to experience a lot of different things.  I played football, baseball, and soccer as a small kid. I went to sports camps and was pushed to be a little athletic.  I dreamed of being a great sports star.  My parents never took the time to tell me that my shot of making it to the pros was slim to none, one in a million.  They let me have that dream and as most things do in small children, it changed over time. 

What were your dreams growing up as a kid?  Did you dream of being an astronaut or a fireman?  Did you want to fly to the moon or did you want to own a horse farm?  What did your dreams consist of?  The reason I ask is that I believe we grown and develop as children based on our dreams and hopes.  As young children most of us had imaginary friends we played with.  We built forts out of blankets and had entire worlds made of Legos.  We developed through our imaginations,our hopes, and our dreams.  So as parent's, do we cultivate our children's hopes and dreams or do we introduce them to the hard facts of life early.  I ask this based on a parenting theory I just read, parents should not lie to their children.  The question is, what is so different from cultivating their belief in Santa Clause or the Easter Bunny and lying by omission, telling them their dreams of being the next world class ballerina is not realistic?  I ask this in all seriousness because to me it is one and the same.  Parent's fib to their children constantly, trying to protect them from the real world, trying to coax them into doing what is best for them, and trying to help them be children.  Really, what's crossing the line.

Now, I know that this stretches the idea of being a good parent, but I think it just feeds to the fact in all reality, everything we do is to make our children happy and keep them safe.  I believe that is the ultimate goal of all parents,  We all just have different methods to get there.  There is no single path better then another and we just have to accept that all parents are not created equal.  Don't judge other families for wanting their children to live our their dreams.  If I could say anything to a parent it would be to let your children dream, let them imagine, and let them enjoy being a kid.  It doesn't get any better when you get older and your dreams consist of paying off your car.  Let'em dream. 

Life Goes On

At what point do we as parents realize our children are just that, children, and that the accidents, bumps, bruises, and hurt feelings are all just part of growing up.  I mean we all have our horror stories of some tragic event that happened during our childhood and we're still here.  Better maybe, stronger for sure, but we are here, alive and well.  I've had stitches, broken bones, and scars galore, each with their own unique lesson.  How else did I learn not to run with scissors?  (joke)  Seriously though, it's first hand, real world experience for children to learn that parents do know what their talking about.

Yesterday while visiting the baby doctor we ran into some friends with an 18 month old.    We haven't seen them in a while and their baby sure has grown.  Well, during our painfully long wait, their daughter had an accident.  Her Mom had asked her to stop running in the waiting room and to put her other shoe on, but as kids will do, she did what she wanted.  Next thing you know, whack, she tried to install a doggie door in the entrance with her head.  Now, as a seasoned parent my first reaction was to do absolutely nothing.  It happens.  After three kids you have a better understanding of what a mind blowing fall is and just another bruise on the head.  Now, immediately her Mom sprang to the rescue scooping her off the floor, trying to console her and her now bashed in head.  All the parents-to-be and new parents stared at her with disgust letting her poor, innocent child hit her head.  How dare her?  Then came the moment I knew would come, and almost all seasoned parent's knew it would too, the look.  The look is the point in time where the child reviews their surroundings, who saw, and decided on the best course of action.  Typically, due to the attention they have gotten, and of course their embarrassment for not listening, they begin their screams of pain and sadness.  This is always uncomfortable for the offending parent and the rest of the world that is witnessing.  Never a good situation. 

By now I am sure you think I am a heartless, terrible Dad.  I assure you I am not.  After our over protective phase with Random Girl and we had Monkey, I learned the look.  My wife and I also learned how to use it to our advantage.  When our children run and fall, they do "such a good job."  That was such a "good fall."  This almost makes it a game for our children, they forget what happened, they are not embarrassed because they did a good job, and life goes on.   There is no blood curdling screams, no guilt, and the world is at peace.  It's like it never happened.

The point is, as new parents we learn, we grow, and we adapt to our new role in life.  There is not a single new parent out there that can honestly say they are the experts, no matter how many books they've read or what classes they've taken.  What seems as a horrific fail as a parent with kid 1 will just be another day in the park with kid 2 and won't even be noticed by kid 3.  It's all apart of growing up for you and your kids.  Take it one day at a time, remember their are no rules, and do the best you can with love and affection for your children and you'll be fine.  It's all apart of the game and life goes on.

Our New Ride

Well, we sucked it up yesterday and traded in our totally awesome truck for a minivan.  I hate to see the fun thing go away, but I know it was necessary with number four on the way.  I never thought we would be a minivan family, but I know now that is was inevitable.  I guess I am growing up after all.

With that in mind, let me tell you about our new ride.  It's a 2007 Nissan Quest.  Yes, not new as in brand new, but new to us and in a lot better shape then our previous 2005 Toyota Tacoma. 60,000 miles vs. 150,000 is kind of a no brainer.  It's fully loaded, which is also new to us.  It has all the functions that a family vehicle should have, including a DVD player.  All I can say is that's totally awesome.  It's roomy, seats are comfortable, and it's ride is smooth.  Even a cool feature the kids like is that they each have their own private sun roof.  How cool is that?  Every time we go out I feel like Captain Kirk is going to come over the intercom and give me some orders.  It's very futuristic looking.  I have to say that we have looked at many minivans and this is the coolest one yet.  If you've got to have a minivan, this is the one to have, definitely.

Now that I am done bragging about our new car, let me say it didn't come without a price.   We were about nine months from paying off the truck.  Oh how I hate having a car payment.  It is a lower payment and a shorter term, but the interest rate is ridiculous.   Sometimes I really do question my judgement, but I also look at it as no one knows what my family needs more then me and the wife.  If someone wants to judge me based on my decision, that's fine.  It's not your money, your time, or your family so get over it. 

That being said, it's nice to have a new car, not so nice to have a new payment, but GREAT to have a Nissan Quest.   Next time your in the market, check'em out.  I don't think you'll be disappointed.

(Pictures to Come)

Santa Clause is Coming To Town or is He?

So, for several years now I have been dreading the time when my oldest would be subject to peoples cruel attempts to destroy her hope.  You see, I believe that hope and dreams in a child will grow and inspire them to do great things.  One of these dreams that I so desperately cling to and hope that she does as well, is the idea of Santa Clause.  Now, if you read me correctly, I said the idea of Santa Clause, not the actual person.  I believe in Santa Clause, what's wrong with that?

So, the other day, Random Girl tells me that one of the girls in her class told her that Santa Clause was fake.  What, she's in first grade.  I asked how she felt about that and what she said.  She told the other little girl that Santa Clause was real and she believed in him.  Whew!  My sigh of relief could have blown down the doors.  We got past the big one, this time. The seed of doubt has been planted though.  The part I have to figure out now, is how to keep the dream alive.

 

The question I have is why do parents feel the need to tell their children that Santa Clause doesn't exist.  I agree it's your child, tell them what you want, but they also need to know not to spread the word.  Don't crush my child's imagination and hope just because you don't believe.  If you take the idea of Santa Clause, it is about dreaming and hoping and pure innocence.  It's about random, selfless acts of kindness.  It's magical, not only to the kids, but to the parents that believe as well.  If you choose to twist it to be a strange man sneaking in your house in the middle of the night with magical reindeer, then that's your version.  Don't spread it around.  (By the way, his name is Santa, he lives at the North Pole, and you should expect him the same night every year.) 

To go right along with that, go ahead and tell your kids that all the Disney characters are fake, including the princesses and Mickey.  Tell them that all the cartoons they watch are a useless waste of their time, and that their blanket or stuffed animal that makes them feel safe, really won't do anything if someone comes to get them.  Make them understand reality as soon as possible.   Go ahead and get them a job, so they can start the 9-5 grind and be productive humans.  Stop all this foolish child stuff.

Sorry for the rant, but it is a touchy, and very personal subject for me.  I believe the root of a childs development and oppurtunity to thrive begins with dreams, hope, and imagination.  I grew up believing in Santa Clause and at no time did my parents feel the need to take that dream away from me.  I think I turned out pretty good and want to share that magic with my family.  It's all about perspective, I believe in Santa Clause, do you? 

Body Language

So, one of the things Mom and I think is most important in our children's life is to know they are loved.  We shower them with hugs, and kisses, and constantly tell them how much they mean to us.  Don't take that in a Catholic Priest kind of way, but more like a Garth Brooks "If Tomorrow Never Comes," kinda way.  We love our children and hope that when they grow up, they will be able to tell the difference between real love and just infatuation.  With that being said, one of the habits our oldest has picked up on and passed down to her sisters is "I Love You!" in sign language. For those of you who don't know what that looks like, here it is.

My wife and I constantly use this to tell each other that we love each other, even when we can't speak to one another.  Our children have seen this and picked up our little "body language."  It's really cute and I hope they know what it means to us.  Everyday I go to work, my two littlest one's will tell me they love me and then hold their hands up to show me.  It's a ritual I wouldn't trade for the world and I think one of the greatest things we have ever taught our children.  So, take some time to not only tell them you love them, but show them too.  That way, no matter how far away you are, driving off to work, or coming home.  You will always know you are loved, and they will too. 

Thankful Thanksgiving

One of the many things that I am Thankful for today is that my Internet is back up and running.  I know from many years of experience that I can survive quite soundly without it, but it sure is a nice escape from reality on occasion.  I am doubly thankful for the massage pad my Mom gave me for Christmas several years ago.  As I sit here writing, it is dueling the many muscle knots in my back.  After last nights endeavors, I feel like a pretzel factory across my shoulders and lower back.  My third thing to be thankful for today is that I get one extra day off with my family to enjoy some good, old fashioned, family time.  I could sit here and ramble on about all my blessings from this past year, but that wouldn't make for good readings, so I a move on.

Coming back around to our Thanksgiving holiday, I would like to remind everyone out there that there are people working yesterday, today, and tonight, to make your Black Friday shopping experience a satisfying one.  They will go through long, pain staking processes, and great physical work to make you feel in the Christmas present buying mood.  Please, go out and enjoy their establishments and the hard work they've done.  They will be thankful you came by when they still have a job next year.  Their families will be thankful too, when they carve their Thanksgiving turkey today.  We all coincide together.  On days like today, let's remember we all have our place in the circle of life, and that we need to help each other out on occasion.

Enough of my retail preaching.  I hope you all have a safe and happy holiday weekend.  May your soul be at piece for all your blessings, and may your tummy's be full of Turkey.  Happy Thanksgiving!

Shirt and Shoes Required

So, we came home from our road trip to the In-Law's this weekend for Punky Doodles birthday.  It was a typical road trip, full of the kids fighting, Daddy sleeping, and Mommy driving.  Along the way, Mommy had to use the restroom.  This should sound familiar to all you DADDS out there.  News Flash: A Pregnant Woman Needs to Use the Restroom!  As we pull into the front row parking space, Random Girl rouses to and reads  the first sign on the glass at the gas station,  "No Loitering."  After a brief explanation, she reads the next one, "Shirt and Shoes Required.  What does that mean Mommy?"  After, again, another brief explanation, Random Girl responds with "What about pants?"  The hysterics begin.

This brings me to my point, my daughter is six years old, seven in February.  I know I am like every parent out there and thinks that their child is a genius, but all signs point to yes.  During her parent teacher conference last month, the teacher told my wife that she was well above the learning level of the class, she has already passed the final test of the year with flying colors, and is the only one in the class reading at a fourth grade reading level.  She's a genius right? 

Well, never the less, our elementary school here is sub-par to say the least and we don't know what to do.  My sister has suggested that we look into a charter school, but I can't find a whole lot of information on  the two we have locally.  All I want is the best for my children and she is not being challenged where she is now.  Any suggestions on what we should do?  Any experiences I can learn from?  What other options are there out there besides your traditional private and public schools?

Ewww...Your kids aren't vaccinated.

As a new blogger, I will try to keep from bringing up too many controversial topics.  I do want people to read and the quickest way to stop that is being too controversial.  I do want to touch on this topic though because I am a parent, my kids aren't vaccinated, and it's close to my heart.

Several years ago, I met a dad and we became close friends.  One of the secrets he shared with me was that his kids were not vaccinated.  He never explained all the reasons why whether religious, medical, etc.  but he did say that he didn't share that information with a lot of people because if they knew, his children would lose friends.  I thought it sad that he felt that way.  Then again, my children weren't vaccinated either, so what was there to be concerned about.

Children's vaccinations should be an educated choice, not a mandated rule.  One doctor explained it to me that it was our mistake to make, either way.  I liked how she put it and have remembered that ever day.  You see, my oldest daughter has most of her vaccinations. Not all were done on the mandated schedule, but they were pretty much all done.  Shortly after her last vaccine, the MMR, she had her first febrile seizure.  She was two.  The coincidence was too much for us to handle.  No, the vaccine didn't cause the seizure.  The fever (105+) brought on by the vaccine caused the seizure.  Vaccines don't cause fevers, right?  Oh yeah, and febrile seizures are harmless too.  Well, a year later, she had another seizure brought on by a high fever.  Yes, the first ER doctor told us that this could happen.  No, we didn't expect it.  That was it!  Our decision was made.  We did our due dilegence and we did what we thought best for the health of our children.

 

Two children later, and neither of them have been vaccinated.  They have lived healthier, less dramatic childhoods then the first.    Our pediatrician decided they weren't going to take care of them anymore because they were not vaccinated.  See ya later Doc.  It's my choice, not yours.  Which brings me to another point.  Parents of vaccinated children, what are you scared of?  My kids are the ones "unprotected."  If they are the carriers of the apocalyptic plague, you should be safe, your vaccinated.  We should be more afraid of your children, then you are of mine.  Yours have been exposed, mine have not.  Mine can't make yours sick if the vaccinations work.  Just sayin.

Having your children vaccinated is a parent's choice and right.  They can still go to school (In most states), they can still live normal lives.  Nothing is different except that they aren't exposed to the same things other children have been exposed to.   It's your choice though.  In my heart and mind, I have made the right choices for my children.  That's what being a parent is about right, trying to make the right choices for your kids.  I've said before, I'd do anything for my kids and I meant it.

And we begin.....

Today we blog!  I wake up this morning to the wife asking me to get our oldest up and take her to the bus stop.  Another day begins.  Getting ready in the morning is like an Easter egg hunt.  Clothes laid out, less socks, book bag ready, less homework folder....  and the hunt begins.  Thankfully, socks were in the laundry room  and the folder was by the door.  No need for my X-ray vision.  Not my typical morning.  The other's are up when I get back and make the coffee.  The morning routine continues with Disney Jr. and a cup of coffee.  Did I mention the cup of coffee?  Seems lately I can't get started without the stuff.  How did I go by 31 years without it?  It's warm, it's bitter, it's the essence of life and I love it!  I wonder if I can talk my wife into naming our next child Juan Valdez?  My day continues as I cook Super Breakfast.  a.k.a microwave eggs.  It's not much, but it makes me a hero in my young one's eyes. The first thing out of their mouth in the morning is they want something in it.  Eat?  Eat.  Eat!  My early morning conversation.  My girls were blessed with super powers too;  super hearing, super speed, and super appetites.   I have to say they get it honestly.  Today is an off day, so I'm going to get it started...maybe.  Up, up, and away!