Back to the Grindstone

So, it's now Thursday and the time I have taken off to be with my family when my son was born is now over.  It's been an interesting 10 days, but enjoyable.  I had forgotten how much I enjoyed being home with my girls and taking care of the family.  I cleaned some, cooked, took the girls out, took care of them when they were sick, and spent some quality time with #3 and the wife.  It's been a good week.  Like all good things though, this too must come to an end.  It leaves me wondering though, what do we as parents really sacrifice for our jobs?  Do we ever really understand what we are missing out on before we're too late?  I am the first to tell you that my family comes first, but my 50+ hour work week probably contradicts that statement.  What is a single income family man supposed to do to make it all work?  It's just left me a little baffled this morning and making me dread my work day more and more. 

Daddy's Date Night

So, it's a rare occasion, but every once in a while I try to go on a date with my oldest daughter.  The first date night was the year before last when we went Christmas shopping for Mommy. It was a great success and a joy to watch a 4 year old pick out a present for Mommy.  So, as these things tend to happen, a Christmas tradition began.


Tonight was a little different then usual.  Random Girl is 6 now going on 21 and able to give me a lot more thoughtful ideas for a Christmas present for Mommy.  There were other reasons tonight was unique as well.  Our first stop was the Dollar Tree.  Here my darling daughter picked out gifts for her sisters.  Not once did she ask for anything for herself.  She was very thoughtful in picking out something that each of her sisters would enjoy and they were very appropriate for each one.  I was so proud of her choices and her selflessness.  If you have a young child you know it's all to easy for it to become all about them.  I was amazed that tonight it wasn't. 


Our next stop was an eye opening experience for me as well.  My daughter apparently can pick out presents better for my wife then I can.  She gave me lots of great ideas that will make Mommy very happy and as not to ruin the surprise, we'll leave it at that. 


Chic-fil-a was our dinner location of choice as it has a playground and she wanted to go make some new friends.  They were having a birthday party and she enjoyed watching the other kids and eating her Kid's Meal.  She then went a played for hours on end until she was plain warn out.  I got her a milkshake since she had been so good and we headed home.
 
On the way home, Random Girl told me about Jesus and God and why we celebrate Christmas.  She is so smart.  She told me why Jesus was so important to us and about his mother Mary too.  I was so amazed that she has learned so much.  I wasn't raised in a very religious family and for her to learn this at such an early age through an after school program is just wonderful.  She understand the reason for the season and I don't think many 6 year olds can do the same thing. 


So, that's my little journey for tonight. I know it's not a lot, but it means the world to me and I just wanted to share.  Just when you think your kids aren't looking, they will surprise you to the point where you just kind of sit back in awe.  I love my girls.

I Am Number Four!

Totally different then the action packed thriller about aliens living among us with super powers, this post is about my family's journey to child number four and all the emotions along the way.  Not any less exciting, just without all the killing and stuff.

"Four kids, really?"  That's the typical response from anyone I tell that we're expecting another child in May.  That and the always classic, "You haven't figured out what causes that yet?"  It's funny that people look at four children as such a high number.  I think in the current world, two or three is the norm.  After having two children, the third was pretty easy to handle, so why not try for four?    It just seems like a logical choice to me.  I can't help it that I prefer even numbers and symmetrical architecture.


With all that being said, I never thought I would be the father of three or even four.  I thought two was more then enough.  God blessed me and mine with a third though, and at that time, I knew in my heart that three kids was good and plenty.  My wife had said she wanted another child, but I had all but taken that completely off the table.   We struggle to raise two, much less three.  There was no way we could afford to have a fourth child.  So, almost two years passed and I woke up one morning thinking about having another child.  My wife and I had not even talked about it.  It was just there.  A seed had been planted and began growing in my mind. Every Dad can probably agree that they want to have a boy, sometime in there life.  I had already been blessed with three beautiful girls, but I wanted to see if the fourth time was the charm.


Several days later, during one of our day off, house cleaning sessions, I proposed the idea to my wife.  I didn't immediately want to start trying, but I could see having another one in the next couple of years.  It took all of a week for us to find out we were pregnant.  Thank God that He had planted that seed in my brain because I was already ready for it.  Now, we are about four months along.  We find out in about four weeks what the sex of the baby will be.  I hope it's a boy, but whatever God decides to bless us with will be more then wanted and loved.  I remember clearly my wife, then my girlfriend, telling me that she had been told since she was fourteen that she couldn't have children.  Every child to us is a blessing.


So, I picture a little boy growing in my wife's belly, sucking his thumb, running his laps, and thinking "I am Number Four!"  He will be blessed with super powers just like the rest of us.  Love, compassion, humor, and smarts will be in his tool box.  And he will be born in May.  I can't wait to see the world premier.

Santa Clause is Coming To Town or is He?

So, for several years now I have been dreading the time when my oldest would be subject to peoples cruel attempts to destroy her hope.  You see, I believe that hope and dreams in a child will grow and inspire them to do great things.  One of these dreams that I so desperately cling to and hope that she does as well, is the idea of Santa Clause.  Now, if you read me correctly, I said the idea of Santa Clause, not the actual person.  I believe in Santa Clause, what's wrong with that?

So, the other day, Random Girl tells me that one of the girls in her class told her that Santa Clause was fake.  What, she's in first grade.  I asked how she felt about that and what she said.  She told the other little girl that Santa Clause was real and she believed in him.  Whew!  My sigh of relief could have blown down the doors.  We got past the big one, this time. The seed of doubt has been planted though.  The part I have to figure out now, is how to keep the dream alive.

 

The question I have is why do parents feel the need to tell their children that Santa Clause doesn't exist.  I agree it's your child, tell them what you want, but they also need to know not to spread the word.  Don't crush my child's imagination and hope just because you don't believe.  If you take the idea of Santa Clause, it is about dreaming and hoping and pure innocence.  It's about random, selfless acts of kindness.  It's magical, not only to the kids, but to the parents that believe as well.  If you choose to twist it to be a strange man sneaking in your house in the middle of the night with magical reindeer, then that's your version.  Don't spread it around.  (By the way, his name is Santa, he lives at the North Pole, and you should expect him the same night every year.) 

To go right along with that, go ahead and tell your kids that all the Disney characters are fake, including the princesses and Mickey.  Tell them that all the cartoons they watch are a useless waste of their time, and that their blanket or stuffed animal that makes them feel safe, really won't do anything if someone comes to get them.  Make them understand reality as soon as possible.   Go ahead and get them a job, so they can start the 9-5 grind and be productive humans.  Stop all this foolish child stuff.

Sorry for the rant, but it is a touchy, and very personal subject for me.  I believe the root of a childs development and oppurtunity to thrive begins with dreams, hope, and imagination.  I grew up believing in Santa Clause and at no time did my parents feel the need to take that dream away from me.  I think I turned out pretty good and want to share that magic with my family.  It's all about perspective, I believe in Santa Clause, do you? 

My Wolverine

So, Monkey and Punky Doodles are inseperable.  They spend the majority of ALL day together and their relationship has its tense moments.  Lately though my Monkey has become Wolverine and bites and scratches Punky Doodles.  Kids will be Kids, right?  Wrong, she scratches and bites hard enough to leave marks.  How do I stop her from doing this?  She says she understands why we get upset with her when she does it.  She doesn't like it when it is done to her, but what can we do to curb this behavior.  I don't want my middle child to be a bully and I don't want my youngest to grow up hating her big mean sister, but I am at a loss.  Where in the parenting manual do you find the answers? 


JTNDKD5PKSV7

Body Language

So, one of the things Mom and I think is most important in our children's life is to know they are loved.  We shower them with hugs, and kisses, and constantly tell them how much they mean to us.  Don't take that in a Catholic Priest kind of way, but more like a Garth Brooks "If Tomorrow Never Comes," kinda way.  We love our children and hope that when they grow up, they will be able to tell the difference between real love and just infatuation.  With that being said, one of the habits our oldest has picked up on and passed down to her sisters is "I Love You!" in sign language. For those of you who don't know what that looks like, here it is.

My wife and I constantly use this to tell each other that we love each other, even when we can't speak to one another.  Our children have seen this and picked up our little "body language."  It's really cute and I hope they know what it means to us.  Everyday I go to work, my two littlest one's will tell me they love me and then hold their hands up to show me.  It's a ritual I wouldn't trade for the world and I think one of the greatest things we have ever taught our children.  So, take some time to not only tell them you love them, but show them too.  That way, no matter how far away you are, driving off to work, or coming home.  You will always know you are loved, and they will too. 

Thankful Thanksgiving

One of the many things that I am Thankful for today is that my Internet is back up and running.  I know from many years of experience that I can survive quite soundly without it, but it sure is a nice escape from reality on occasion.  I am doubly thankful for the massage pad my Mom gave me for Christmas several years ago.  As I sit here writing, it is dueling the many muscle knots in my back.  After last nights endeavors, I feel like a pretzel factory across my shoulders and lower back.  My third thing to be thankful for today is that I get one extra day off with my family to enjoy some good, old fashioned, family time.  I could sit here and ramble on about all my blessings from this past year, but that wouldn't make for good readings, so I a move on.

Coming back around to our Thanksgiving holiday, I would like to remind everyone out there that there are people working yesterday, today, and tonight, to make your Black Friday shopping experience a satisfying one.  They will go through long, pain staking processes, and great physical work to make you feel in the Christmas present buying mood.  Please, go out and enjoy their establishments and the hard work they've done.  They will be thankful you came by when they still have a job next year.  Their families will be thankful too, when they carve their Thanksgiving turkey today.  We all coincide together.  On days like today, let's remember we all have our place in the circle of life, and that we need to help each other out on occasion.

Enough of my retail preaching.  I hope you all have a safe and happy holiday weekend.  May your soul be at piece for all your blessings, and may your tummy's be full of Turkey.  Happy Thanksgiving!

Shirt and Shoes Required

So, we came home from our road trip to the In-Law's this weekend for Punky Doodles birthday.  It was a typical road trip, full of the kids fighting, Daddy sleeping, and Mommy driving.  Along the way, Mommy had to use the restroom.  This should sound familiar to all you DADDS out there.  News Flash: A Pregnant Woman Needs to Use the Restroom!  As we pull into the front row parking space, Random Girl rouses to and reads  the first sign on the glass at the gas station,  "No Loitering."  After a brief explanation, she reads the next one, "Shirt and Shoes Required.  What does that mean Mommy?"  After, again, another brief explanation, Random Girl responds with "What about pants?"  The hysterics begin.

This brings me to my point, my daughter is six years old, seven in February.  I know I am like every parent out there and thinks that their child is a genius, but all signs point to yes.  During her parent teacher conference last month, the teacher told my wife that she was well above the learning level of the class, she has already passed the final test of the year with flying colors, and is the only one in the class reading at a fourth grade reading level.  She's a genius right? 

Well, never the less, our elementary school here is sub-par to say the least and we don't know what to do.  My sister has suggested that we look into a charter school, but I can't find a whole lot of information on  the two we have locally.  All I want is the best for my children and she is not being challenged where she is now.  Any suggestions on what we should do?  Any experiences I can learn from?  What other options are there out there besides your traditional private and public schools?

And Here Comes Another One

Today we had our first ultrasound since we confirmed pregnancy two weeks ago. It was so exciting and stirred up so many memories of the pregnancy of our other three children. The ultrasounds, the kicks, listening to the heartbeat, all just memories of a new life. It's hard to believe we are going to be a family of four and so very exciting. It seems like yesterday my oldest was born and she will turn seven this February. I took some time to look through some old pictures of my children growing up and it made my heart swell with pride at how much they are growing up. My Punky Doodles will turn two in three days. How time does fly by. Hopefully this pregnancy will go as smooth as the previous ones and sometime towards the end of May, we will be blessed with our newest edition. Cross your fingers we get that boy. We'll find that out in about eight more weeks. All that really matters though is that Mom and the baby are healthy. Everything else after that is gravy...