It's a Boy!

These are some of the most remarkable words I have ever heard.  They rank right up there with "I'm pregnant" and "It's a healthy baby."  I can't say enough about how happy I am to finally be having a baby boy.  Not that I wouldn't have been happy to have a happy, healthy girl, but after three girls, it's time for a change. Thank you God. 

My wife and I had our third doctor's appointment on Wednesday and I am happy to announce that their will be a III finally in my family. Going forward he will be known as Trei.  He has had his name picked out for him for seven years, since my wife and I first got pregnant with Random Girl.  I am so blessed to have a wife that understands how much passing on my father's name means to me.  I am blessed to be able to pass that name along.  In May, I will be able to do so.

That being said, I just wanted to pass along some good news.  It's exciting getting ready to have another baby.  It's exciting to be having a boy.  It will be a whole new experience for us both.  For those of you that know, what do you think will be the biggest difference? 

Road Trip!!

This year I have made it a goal of mine to spend more time with my family and friends.  There are always excuses as to why this can't happen or won't happen, but this year is going to be different.  I have already taken the first step to secure this goal by purchasing a rather new mini van that everyone loves to ride in.  Road trip, here we come.

This past weekend, we took a trip to Charlotte, NC.  It was a great trip.  The kids traveled awesomely glued to the TV in the back playing Rio or Lion King.  We stopped when needed, we ate when hungry, and we visited with family along the way.  It was a good trip for all of us.  

We took this trip to see my sister.  She has lived in her new home for four years and I haven't been to see her yet.  There has always been some kind of obstacle in the way from work to gas prices.  This weekend, we took the time to go see her.  Let me just say, four years was way to long.  We had a wonderful time with her and her husband.  The girls had an absolute blast seeing their Aunt and Uncle, and it was a much needed mini vacation for everyone.  We got some good family bonding time.  We also went to IKEA, but I'll save that for another post.  It was just an overall great time.

I say this to put out there, what are you not doing and should be?  I'm not getting any younger and my family and friends are scattered throughout the Southeast.  Some of my largest regrets are the people that will not be in my children's life because I waited too long.  Time is the one thing that we can't make any more of.  So, what are you going to do differently in 2012 for you and your kids?

Dream a Little Dream

So, when the idea of being a dad came to be almost 8 years ago now, it was definitely a new experience.  It was so surreal to think that I was going to be a father.  Now, it seems like it was just always meant to be now that we are expecting our fourth child.  It was dream of mine to have a family as I got older, but it hasn't always been my dream, not wholly. 

Growing up I was able to experience a lot of different things.  I played football, baseball, and soccer as a small kid. I went to sports camps and was pushed to be a little athletic.  I dreamed of being a great sports star.  My parents never took the time to tell me that my shot of making it to the pros was slim to none, one in a million.  They let me have that dream and as most things do in small children, it changed over time. 

What were your dreams growing up as a kid?  Did you dream of being an astronaut or a fireman?  Did you want to fly to the moon or did you want to own a horse farm?  What did your dreams consist of?  The reason I ask is that I believe we grown and develop as children based on our dreams and hopes.  As young children most of us had imaginary friends we played with.  We built forts out of blankets and had entire worlds made of Legos.  We developed through our imaginations,our hopes, and our dreams.  So as parent's, do we cultivate our children's hopes and dreams or do we introduce them to the hard facts of life early.  I ask this based on a parenting theory I just read, parents should not lie to their children.  The question is, what is so different from cultivating their belief in Santa Clause or the Easter Bunny and lying by omission, telling them their dreams of being the next world class ballerina is not realistic?  I ask this in all seriousness because to me it is one and the same.  Parent's fib to their children constantly, trying to protect them from the real world, trying to coax them into doing what is best for them, and trying to help them be children.  Really, what's crossing the line.

Now, I know that this stretches the idea of being a good parent, but I think it just feeds to the fact in all reality, everything we do is to make our children happy and keep them safe.  I believe that is the ultimate goal of all parents,  We all just have different methods to get there.  There is no single path better then another and we just have to accept that all parents are not created equal.  Don't judge other families for wanting their children to live our their dreams.  If I could say anything to a parent it would be to let your children dream, let them imagine, and let them enjoy being a kid.  It doesn't get any better when you get older and your dreams consist of paying off your car.  Let'em dream. 

I Am Number Four!

Totally different then the action packed thriller about aliens living among us with super powers, this post is about my family's journey to child number four and all the emotions along the way.  Not any less exciting, just without all the killing and stuff.

"Four kids, really?"  That's the typical response from anyone I tell that we're expecting another child in May.  That and the always classic, "You haven't figured out what causes that yet?"  It's funny that people look at four children as such a high number.  I think in the current world, two or three is the norm.  After having two children, the third was pretty easy to handle, so why not try for four?    It just seems like a logical choice to me.  I can't help it that I prefer even numbers and symmetrical architecture.


With all that being said, I never thought I would be the father of three or even four.  I thought two was more then enough.  God blessed me and mine with a third though, and at that time, I knew in my heart that three kids was good and plenty.  My wife had said she wanted another child, but I had all but taken that completely off the table.   We struggle to raise two, much less three.  There was no way we could afford to have a fourth child.  So, almost two years passed and I woke up one morning thinking about having another child.  My wife and I had not even talked about it.  It was just there.  A seed had been planted and began growing in my mind. Every Dad can probably agree that they want to have a boy, sometime in there life.  I had already been blessed with three beautiful girls, but I wanted to see if the fourth time was the charm.


Several days later, during one of our day off, house cleaning sessions, I proposed the idea to my wife.  I didn't immediately want to start trying, but I could see having another one in the next couple of years.  It took all of a week for us to find out we were pregnant.  Thank God that He had planted that seed in my brain because I was already ready for it.  Now, we are about four months along.  We find out in about four weeks what the sex of the baby will be.  I hope it's a boy, but whatever God decides to bless us with will be more then wanted and loved.  I remember clearly my wife, then my girlfriend, telling me that she had been told since she was fourteen that she couldn't have children.  Every child to us is a blessing.


So, I picture a little boy growing in my wife's belly, sucking his thumb, running his laps, and thinking "I am Number Four!"  He will be blessed with super powers just like the rest of us.  Love, compassion, humor, and smarts will be in his tool box.  And he will be born in May.  I can't wait to see the world premier.

When I Grow Up

If you would have asked me in middle school what I wanted to be when I grew up I would have told you a Marine Biologist.  That worked out great until I realized I really didn't like biology and that a janitor at Sea World has a Master's Degree.  So, in high school I decided I wanted to be an Electrical Engineer.  I thought it would make my Dad proud since he had been an Electrical Contractor all his life.  That worked out great until I realized it was really, really hard.  Too bad I was already in the third year of college when I figured this out.  So, what am I now?  I know at this point you have to be thinking author, brain surgeon, rocket scientist, or something along those lines.  Nope, I work in retail.  Alas my life long dream has come true.  What I have always dreamed of being is now reality and what a dream it was. 

The next question is how did I get here.  It's simple.  I was a sophomore/junior in college when I met my wife.  I had been in college almost six years and still had not even became close to graduating.  It didn't help that I had participated in the Co-op program for two of those years.  The work really made me feel I had made the right choice.  Unfortunately the classes didn't agree.  So, here I was struggling part time in school and working part time when I met my significant other.  By then I knew I was just spinning my wheels going to class and wasting my Mom's money to boot.  Shortly after we began dating, she became pregnant.  It wasn't a hard choice to make, deciding to quit school and begin trying to advance in my current occupation.  It made it even easier when she lost her job.  The opportunity was there, I just had to take it.  I did, and here I am nine years later, an assistant store manager for a major retailer. I wouldn't change it for the world.

So, now I am a father of three, soon to be four.  I have a good life.  Rich beyond my wildest dreams, although we struggle week to week to pay our bills, put food on the table, and take care of our kids.  My wife is a SAHM.  Seriously, who can afford child care for two?  She does a great job raising our girls day in and day out and I work 50+ hours a week.  I love my life.  Is it sad though that I want more for my children?  I want them to be whatever they want to be.  I want them to be successful beyond their wildest dreams. What does that really mean though?  I think I am successful, just not what I thought I would be.  How do we help our children become what they want to be, or what they are really meant to be?

When I grow up, I want to be a great Dad.  Really, that's what I want.  I really don't care about my profession.  Rarely is a coworker going to remember me as a great leader or manager.  My kids will always remember what kind of Dad I was though. That makes me want to be a great one.  I remember my Dad was a great man.  I just hope when my kids are in their thirties they can think about me that way too.  What do you want to be when you grow up?

Santa Clause is Coming To Town or is He?

So, for several years now I have been dreading the time when my oldest would be subject to peoples cruel attempts to destroy her hope.  You see, I believe that hope and dreams in a child will grow and inspire them to do great things.  One of these dreams that I so desperately cling to and hope that she does as well, is the idea of Santa Clause.  Now, if you read me correctly, I said the idea of Santa Clause, not the actual person.  I believe in Santa Clause, what's wrong with that?

So, the other day, Random Girl tells me that one of the girls in her class told her that Santa Clause was fake.  What, she's in first grade.  I asked how she felt about that and what she said.  She told the other little girl that Santa Clause was real and she believed in him.  Whew!  My sigh of relief could have blown down the doors.  We got past the big one, this time. The seed of doubt has been planted though.  The part I have to figure out now, is how to keep the dream alive.

 

The question I have is why do parents feel the need to tell their children that Santa Clause doesn't exist.  I agree it's your child, tell them what you want, but they also need to know not to spread the word.  Don't crush my child's imagination and hope just because you don't believe.  If you take the idea of Santa Clause, it is about dreaming and hoping and pure innocence.  It's about random, selfless acts of kindness.  It's magical, not only to the kids, but to the parents that believe as well.  If you choose to twist it to be a strange man sneaking in your house in the middle of the night with magical reindeer, then that's your version.  Don't spread it around.  (By the way, his name is Santa, he lives at the North Pole, and you should expect him the same night every year.) 

To go right along with that, go ahead and tell your kids that all the Disney characters are fake, including the princesses and Mickey.  Tell them that all the cartoons they watch are a useless waste of their time, and that their blanket or stuffed animal that makes them feel safe, really won't do anything if someone comes to get them.  Make them understand reality as soon as possible.   Go ahead and get them a job, so they can start the 9-5 grind and be productive humans.  Stop all this foolish child stuff.

Sorry for the rant, but it is a touchy, and very personal subject for me.  I believe the root of a childs development and oppurtunity to thrive begins with dreams, hope, and imagination.  I grew up believing in Santa Clause and at no time did my parents feel the need to take that dream away from me.  I think I turned out pretty good and want to share that magic with my family.  It's all about perspective, I believe in Santa Clause, do you? 

And we begin.....

Today we blog!  I wake up this morning to the wife asking me to get our oldest up and take her to the bus stop.  Another day begins.  Getting ready in the morning is like an Easter egg hunt.  Clothes laid out, less socks, book bag ready, less homework folder....  and the hunt begins.  Thankfully, socks were in the laundry room  and the folder was by the door.  No need for my X-ray vision.  Not my typical morning.  The other's are up when I get back and make the coffee.  The morning routine continues with Disney Jr. and a cup of coffee.  Did I mention the cup of coffee?  Seems lately I can't get started without the stuff.  How did I go by 31 years without it?  It's warm, it's bitter, it's the essence of life and I love it!  I wonder if I can talk my wife into naming our next child Juan Valdez?  My day continues as I cook Super Breakfast.  a.k.a microwave eggs.  It's not much, but it makes me a hero in my young one's eyes. The first thing out of their mouth in the morning is they want something in it.  Eat?  Eat.  Eat!  My early morning conversation.  My girls were blessed with super powers too;  super hearing, super speed, and super appetites.   I have to say they get it honestly.  Today is an off day, so I'm going to get it started...maybe.  Up, up, and away!