Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Life Goes On

At what point do we as parents realize our children are just that, children, and that the accidents, bumps, bruises, and hurt feelings are all just part of growing up.  I mean we all have our horror stories of some tragic event that happened during our childhood and we're still here.  Better maybe, stronger for sure, but we are here, alive and well.  I've had stitches, broken bones, and scars galore, each with their own unique lesson.  How else did I learn not to run with scissors?  (joke)  Seriously though, it's first hand, real world experience for children to learn that parents do know what their talking about.

Yesterday while visiting the baby doctor we ran into some friends with an 18 month old.    We haven't seen them in a while and their baby sure has grown.  Well, during our painfully long wait, their daughter had an accident.  Her Mom had asked her to stop running in the waiting room and to put her other shoe on, but as kids will do, she did what she wanted.  Next thing you know, whack, she tried to install a doggie door in the entrance with her head.  Now, as a seasoned parent my first reaction was to do absolutely nothing.  It happens.  After three kids you have a better understanding of what a mind blowing fall is and just another bruise on the head.  Now, immediately her Mom sprang to the rescue scooping her off the floor, trying to console her and her now bashed in head.  All the parents-to-be and new parents stared at her with disgust letting her poor, innocent child hit her head.  How dare her?  Then came the moment I knew would come, and almost all seasoned parent's knew it would too, the look.  The look is the point in time where the child reviews their surroundings, who saw, and decided on the best course of action.  Typically, due to the attention they have gotten, and of course their embarrassment for not listening, they begin their screams of pain and sadness.  This is always uncomfortable for the offending parent and the rest of the world that is witnessing.  Never a good situation. 

By now I am sure you think I am a heartless, terrible Dad.  I assure you I am not.  After our over protective phase with Random Girl and we had Monkey, I learned the look.  My wife and I also learned how to use it to our advantage.  When our children run and fall, they do "such a good job."  That was such a "good fall."  This almost makes it a game for our children, they forget what happened, they are not embarrassed because they did a good job, and life goes on.   There is no blood curdling screams, no guilt, and the world is at peace.  It's like it never happened.

The point is, as new parents we learn, we grow, and we adapt to our new role in life.  There is not a single new parent out there that can honestly say they are the experts, no matter how many books they've read or what classes they've taken.  What seems as a horrific fail as a parent with kid 1 will just be another day in the park with kid 2 and won't even be noticed by kid 3.  It's all apart of growing up for you and your kids.  Take it one day at a time, remember their are no rules, and do the best you can with love and affection for your children and you'll be fine.  It's all apart of the game and life goes on.


Cari from Bubble Gum on my Shoe said...

Well said. So true, if you, the parent, overreacts the child will just play off that. As parents we too size up the situation and can tell if it's a rug burn or there need to be stitches. Kids need to learn coping skills too, how to bounce back and that not everything is a big deal. I guess the only parenting "experts" out there are us about our own kids, every child is different.

SDADD said...

Thanks for the the comment. You are true when you say we are our own childs expert parents. We know them better then anyone else does.