Sunday, December 11, 2011

People Should be Born with a Universal Remote

8724311 Larger FrontWouldn't be nice if everyone was born with a univeral remote?  Mute, volume controll, rewind, pause; how nice would that be?  It could be so usefull in everyday life.  The evil would probably corrupt its pure principal, but I think it would be worth the risk.

I can remember clearly waiting anxiously for my girls to talk.  Random Girl began talking early age and hasn't stopped since.  I can't say she hasn't stopped, she doesn't talk when she reads, most of the time.  It wasn't long after she began talking I was repeating one of my Dad's favorite phrases, "Can I just have five minutes of peace and quite?!"   I wasn't sure then why five minutes was so magical and now I know why. Five minutes to a 6 year old is a blessing.   Five minutes is actually a manageable goal to try and reach. Ten minutes would just kill your child and would throw the whole world off balance. 

It's kind of funny though because as Monkey and Punky Doodles came along, I had the same anxiety about wanting them to talk.  I actually told my wife that I was worried about Punky because she hadn't began talking yet.  How silly am I?  Now, again, just five minutes please.  Words start flowing out of their mouths at about 5:30-6:00 am and don't stop until, well, they don't stop.  Monkey actually talks in her sleep, constantly.  It has become my morning tradition when I am not at work to put on my headphones and listen to some music while they are occupied by the cartoons.  They even talk then.  I know that makes me sound like a terrible dad, but it's my five minutes of peace before the day really begins.

This handy little tool would be useful with my job as well. I would love to be able to rewind and let people hear what actually comes out of their mouths.  Sometimes I want to look at them and go, "Seriously, did you just say that?"  The worst part about it is that more and more people actually do not understand the amount of junk that is coming out of their mouth.  It's becoming an unreasonable world and the greatest thing about my job is that I have to put up with it.  Sometimes I just want to ask them where they work so I can give them a visit one day and let them understand what it feels like.  Enough about work though.

So, kind of like the movie "Click," we all need a universal remote.  We don't need to to fast forward through our lives or to navigate our past showings, we just need it to shut some people up sometimes, turn down their over inflated volumes, or just to get the five minutes of peace we need from our children.  I don't think that's a lot to ask for, although it is pretty selfish.  What do you think? Would a universal remote come in handy in your life?

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