When I Grow Up

If you would have asked me in middle school what I wanted to be when I grew up I would have told you a Marine Biologist.  That worked out great until I realized I really didn't like biology and that a janitor at Sea World has a Master's Degree.  So, in high school I decided I wanted to be an Electrical Engineer.  I thought it would make my Dad proud since he had been an Electrical Contractor all his life.  That worked out great until I realized it was really, really hard.  Too bad I was already in the third year of college when I figured this out.  So, what am I now?  I know at this point you have to be thinking author, brain surgeon, rocket scientist, or something along those lines.  Nope, I work in retail.  Alas my life long dream has come true.  What I have always dreamed of being is now reality and what a dream it was. 

The next question is how did I get here.  It's simple.  I was a sophomore/junior in college when I met my wife.  I had been in college almost six years and still had not even became close to graduating.  It didn't help that I had participated in the Co-op program for two of those years.  The work really made me feel I had made the right choice.  Unfortunately the classes didn't agree.  So, here I was struggling part time in school and working part time when I met my significant other.  By then I knew I was just spinning my wheels going to class and wasting my Mom's money to boot.  Shortly after we began dating, she became pregnant.  It wasn't a hard choice to make, deciding to quit school and begin trying to advance in my current occupation.  It made it even easier when she lost her job.  The opportunity was there, I just had to take it.  I did, and here I am nine years later, an assistant store manager for a major retailer. I wouldn't change it for the world.

So, now I am a father of three, soon to be four.  I have a good life.  Rich beyond my wildest dreams, although we struggle week to week to pay our bills, put food on the table, and take care of our kids.  My wife is a SAHM.  Seriously, who can afford child care for two?  She does a great job raising our girls day in and day out and I work 50+ hours a week.  I love my life.  Is it sad though that I want more for my children?  I want them to be whatever they want to be.  I want them to be successful beyond their wildest dreams. What does that really mean though?  I think I am successful, just not what I thought I would be.  How do we help our children become what they want to be, or what they are really meant to be?

When I grow up, I want to be a great Dad.  Really, that's what I want.  I really don't care about my profession.  Rarely is a coworker going to remember me as a great leader or manager.  My kids will always remember what kind of Dad I was though. That makes me want to be a great one.  I remember my Dad was a great man.  I just hope when my kids are in their thirties they can think about me that way too.  What do you want to be when you grow up?

Santa Clause is Coming To Town or is He?

So, for several years now I have been dreading the time when my oldest would be subject to peoples cruel attempts to destroy her hope.  You see, I believe that hope and dreams in a child will grow and inspire them to do great things.  One of these dreams that I so desperately cling to and hope that she does as well, is the idea of Santa Clause.  Now, if you read me correctly, I said the idea of Santa Clause, not the actual person.  I believe in Santa Clause, what's wrong with that?

So, the other day, Random Girl tells me that one of the girls in her class told her that Santa Clause was fake.  What, she's in first grade.  I asked how she felt about that and what she said.  She told the other little girl that Santa Clause was real and she believed in him.  Whew!  My sigh of relief could have blown down the doors.  We got past the big one, this time. The seed of doubt has been planted though.  The part I have to figure out now, is how to keep the dream alive.

 

The question I have is why do parents feel the need to tell their children that Santa Clause doesn't exist.  I agree it's your child, tell them what you want, but they also need to know not to spread the word.  Don't crush my child's imagination and hope just because you don't believe.  If you take the idea of Santa Clause, it is about dreaming and hoping and pure innocence.  It's about random, selfless acts of kindness.  It's magical, not only to the kids, but to the parents that believe as well.  If you choose to twist it to be a strange man sneaking in your house in the middle of the night with magical reindeer, then that's your version.  Don't spread it around.  (By the way, his name is Santa, he lives at the North Pole, and you should expect him the same night every year.) 

To go right along with that, go ahead and tell your kids that all the Disney characters are fake, including the princesses and Mickey.  Tell them that all the cartoons they watch are a useless waste of their time, and that their blanket or stuffed animal that makes them feel safe, really won't do anything if someone comes to get them.  Make them understand reality as soon as possible.   Go ahead and get them a job, so they can start the 9-5 grind and be productive humans.  Stop all this foolish child stuff.

Sorry for the rant, but it is a touchy, and very personal subject for me.  I believe the root of a childs development and oppurtunity to thrive begins with dreams, hope, and imagination.  I grew up believing in Santa Clause and at no time did my parents feel the need to take that dream away from me.  I think I turned out pretty good and want to share that magic with my family.  It's all about perspective, I believe in Santa Clause, do you? 

My Wolverine

So, Monkey and Punky Doodles are inseperable.  They spend the majority of ALL day together and their relationship has its tense moments.  Lately though my Monkey has become Wolverine and bites and scratches Punky Doodles.  Kids will be Kids, right?  Wrong, she scratches and bites hard enough to leave marks.  How do I stop her from doing this?  She says she understands why we get upset with her when she does it.  She doesn't like it when it is done to her, but what can we do to curb this behavior.  I don't want my middle child to be a bully and I don't want my youngest to grow up hating her big mean sister, but I am at a loss.  Where in the parenting manual do you find the answers? 


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Body Language

So, one of the things Mom and I think is most important in our children's life is to know they are loved.  We shower them with hugs, and kisses, and constantly tell them how much they mean to us.  Don't take that in a Catholic Priest kind of way, but more like a Garth Brooks "If Tomorrow Never Comes," kinda way.  We love our children and hope that when they grow up, they will be able to tell the difference between real love and just infatuation.  With that being said, one of the habits our oldest has picked up on and passed down to her sisters is "I Love You!" in sign language. For those of you who don't know what that looks like, here it is.

My wife and I constantly use this to tell each other that we love each other, even when we can't speak to one another.  Our children have seen this and picked up our little "body language."  It's really cute and I hope they know what it means to us.  Everyday I go to work, my two littlest one's will tell me they love me and then hold their hands up to show me.  It's a ritual I wouldn't trade for the world and I think one of the greatest things we have ever taught our children.  So, take some time to not only tell them you love them, but show them too.  That way, no matter how far away you are, driving off to work, or coming home.  You will always know you are loved, and they will too. 

Thankful Thanksgiving

One of the many things that I am Thankful for today is that my Internet is back up and running.  I know from many years of experience that I can survive quite soundly without it, but it sure is a nice escape from reality on occasion.  I am doubly thankful for the massage pad my Mom gave me for Christmas several years ago.  As I sit here writing, it is dueling the many muscle knots in my back.  After last nights endeavors, I feel like a pretzel factory across my shoulders and lower back.  My third thing to be thankful for today is that I get one extra day off with my family to enjoy some good, old fashioned, family time.  I could sit here and ramble on about all my blessings from this past year, but that wouldn't make for good readings, so I a move on.

Coming back around to our Thanksgiving holiday, I would like to remind everyone out there that there are people working yesterday, today, and tonight, to make your Black Friday shopping experience a satisfying one.  They will go through long, pain staking processes, and great physical work to make you feel in the Christmas present buying mood.  Please, go out and enjoy their establishments and the hard work they've done.  They will be thankful you came by when they still have a job next year.  Their families will be thankful too, when they carve their Thanksgiving turkey today.  We all coincide together.  On days like today, let's remember we all have our place in the circle of life, and that we need to help each other out on occasion.

Enough of my retail preaching.  I hope you all have a safe and happy holiday weekend.  May your soul be at piece for all your blessings, and may your tummy's be full of Turkey.  Happy Thanksgiving!